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Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category

Joke of the Day:Bank Line

Posted by thesinger on October 3, 2008

With only two tellers working at the bank, the line I was
standing in was moving very slowly. As I waited, I began to
fill in my withdrawal slip. Not sure of the date, I turned
and asked the woman behind me.

“It’s the fifth,” she replied.

A man from the back of the line advised, “Don’t write it in

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Posted in Jokes | 2 Comments »

Joke of the day: Mis-step

Posted by thesinger on August 12, 2008

I recall a time when my son was about 18 months old. I had
him strapped into a backpack and was rushing to catch the
bus. Apparently I mis-stepped and fell down an entire flight
of stairs (13 to be exact). I was bruised and bleeding and
had torn my jeans … but my main concern was, naturally,
for my child.

My fears were alleviated, though, when from behind me I
heard a gleeful giggle followed by, “Again!”

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Joke of the Day:The Amateur Photographer

Posted by thesinger on May 20, 2008

An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends,
and he took along a few pictures to show to them. The
hostess looked at the photos and commented, “These are very
good! You must have a good camera.”

The photographer didn’t make any comment, but as he was
leaving to go home, he said, “That was a really delicious
meal! You must have some very good pots.”

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Posted in Jokes, Pics | 2 Comments »

Joke of the Day:Who Says Rednecks Are Dumb?

Posted by thesinger on April 29, 2008

“Hello, is this the sheriff’s office?”

“Yes. What can I do for you?”

“I’m calling to report ’bout my neighbor Virgil Smith. He’s
hidin’ marijuana inside his firewood! Don’t quite know how
he gets it inside them logs, but he’s hidin’ it there.”

“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”

The next day, the sheriff’s deputies descend on Virgil’s
house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no
marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave. Shortly, the
phone rings at Virgil’s house.

“Hey, Virgil! This here’s Floyd. Did the sheriff come?”


“Did they chop your firewood?”


“Happy birthday, buddy!”

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Posted in Jokes | 4 Comments »

Joke of the Week:I Hope I’m Sick

Posted by thesinger on March 31, 2008

A fellow was sitting in the doctor’s waiting room, and said
to himself every so often, “Boy, I hope I’m sick!”

After about the fifth or sixth time, the receptionist
couldn’t stand it any longer, and asked, “Why in the world
would you want to be sick, Mr. Adams?”

The man replied, “I’d hate to be well and feel like this.”

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Joke of the week:Wake Up

Posted by thesinger on March 13, 2008

Two mothers are having a conversation about their children
one day.

“How do you get your Marvin up so early on school mornings?”
asks Joan.

“Oh, that’s easy,” replies Marianne. “I just throw the cat
on his bed.”

“Why does that wake him up?”

“He sleeps with the dog!”

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Posted in Jokes | 2 Comments »

Joke of the day:Photo Apology

Posted by thesinger on February 19, 2008

Photographer Ruth Van Bergen specialized in celebrity
portraits. One wealthy woman complained that Van Bergen’s
photo wasn’t nearly as good as the first one she had taken.

“You must forgive me,” the photographer said diplomatically.
“The last time I took your picture, I was ten years

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Time for another weak joke :)

Posted by thesinger on November 28, 2007

The Portrait

One semester when my brother, Peter, attended the University
of Minnesota in Minneapolis, an art-student friend of his
asked if he could paint Peter’s portrait for a class
assignment. Peter agreed, and the art student painted and
submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.

The art student approached the professor to ask why the
grade was so poor.

The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting
were incorrect.

“The head is too big,” the professor explained. “The
shoulders are too wide, and the feet are enormous.”

The next day, the art student brought Peter to see the
professor. He took one look at my brother. “Okay, A minus,”
he said.

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Joke of the Week:More Words

Posted by thesinger on November 6, 2007

A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that
said women use more words than men.

It read, “Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use

Excited to prove to his wife that he had been right all
along when he accused her of talking too much, he showed her
the study results.

The wife thought for a while, then finally she said to her
husband, “It’s because we have to repeat everything we say.”

The husband said, “What?”

Received from GCFL.net

Posted in Jokes | 2 Comments »

Joke of the Week:Air Conditioning

Posted by thesinger on November 1, 2007

A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a
restaurant; first, he’d asked that the air conditioning be
turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned
down because he was too cold, and so on for about half an

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walking back and
forth and never once getting angry. So finally, a second
customer asked why didn’t they just throw out the pest.

“Oh, I don’t care,” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t
even have an air conditioner.”

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